The real reason you’re struggling isn’t burnout.
You’re tired. You’re unfocused. You’re irritable, snappy, or just flat.
Look, we’ve all been there and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
You say it’s burnout. Everyone does. It’s become the catch-all term for emotional exhaustion and overwhelm, especially for those of us running businesses, caring for others, and holding all the things all the time (cough cough, women everywhere)
But what if it’s not burnout?
What if the thing that’s actually draining you is something deeper, something quieter and something a lot harder to spot?
What if it’s disconnection?
Burnout is real, but it’s not the full story.
Burnout is usually seen as the result of working too much, resting too little, and pushing past your limits for too long. And that’s definitely part of it. But in writing The I in Resilience, I realised something that changed the way I looked at my own struggles:
Burnout isn’t always about doing too much. Sometimes, it’s about not being connected to why you’re doing it at all, losing sight of the vales, passion and purpose of the reason you started in the first place.
When you’re disconnected from your needs, your values, your energy, or your sense of purpose, everything starts to feel like effort. Even the things you used to love. Even rest.
You know that saying that if you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life? Well it’ the inverse of that, start to hate what you do and it’ll always feel like hard work.
Signs it’s disconnection, not just burnout:
You’re going through the motions, but nothing feels satisfying
You’ve rested, but you’re still tired
You can’t name what you need, only that something’s wrong
You feel like you’ve lost yourself, or you’re on autopilot
You’re functioning but not living
Sound familiar?
That feeling isn’t failure. It’s a nudge. A call to realign with who you are and what you need.
What disconnection costs us
When we’re disconnected from those things that are important to us we lose clarity, we lose confidence, we lose the ability to self-regulate.
That leaves us numb, scrolling endlessly on social media, saying yes when we mean no, and running faster trying to outpace the emptiness. But here’s the thing:
You can’t build resilience if you’re not connected to yourself.
And you can’t keep ignoring your needs and expect your nervous system to stay regulated.
So how do we fix it?
Well, I’ll be brutally honest, it’s not with another productivity hack, a colour-coded planner or even with a bubble bath (although I’ll always take one of those if you’re offering).
It starts with one powerful question: “What do I need right now?”
Then comes the hard part: listening.
In The I in Resilience, I walk you through how to reconnect with yourself using simple tools and reflection prompts that don’t overwhelm or overcomplicate. This isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about finding yourself again or finding a new path that you want to be on.
Here’s a quick exercise to try today:
Mini Reset Prompt:
Set a timer for 3 minutes. Sit in stillness. Ask yourself:
“Where am I feeling disconnected and what’s one thing I can do to come back to myself?”
Don’t overthink it. The answer might be movement. It might be a boundary. It might be crying, journaling, switching off your laptop or texting a friend.
Whatever it is, honour it. That’s the start of rebuilding trust with yourself.
You’re not broken. You’re just ready to come home to yourself.
If this resonates, The I in Resilience was written for you.
Inside you’ll find:
Raw, honest stories of struggle and self-repair
Practical, human tools to reconnect and reset
Permission to slow down without guilt
Reframes to rebuild your emotional resilience from the inside out
Get your copy here https://amzn.eu/d/0rHPEo8 and let this be the start of something new… not a bounce back, but a bounce towards the version of you that feels more like home.